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Laura composed a really good song so I've put the lyrics in the poem section. They give me hope on the dark days that still happen no matter how long it's been. Mum xxx

Christmas is coming again. It always makes me think of how efficient you were at christmas shopping. One trip to town, returning with a selection of carrier bags (invariably from Waterstones) with just the right book for each person. I miss getting all those funny ones fron you. I miss choosing you something funny. I miss you. Mum xxx

Today I built the box of Scouts you had. They look good. I also built my Chaos Sorcerer that I've had for a long time.
No idea when I'll get around to painting them. Got so much to work on.

I would so much rather be doing this with you. xxx

Happy Birthday, my brother. Missing you.
Love you lots
Laura 
xxx

Another year has gone by without you here to make me laugh with your incredible wit, to frustrate me with your stubborness, to teach me with your explanations of physics, to make me feel tiny with your hugs and warmed by your smile. I miss you, my beautiful boy, more than anyone can ever know or understand. Mum xx

I was just sorting through some of my old birthday cards and found a birthday card from you. If there was a song that reminded me of you is Lean on Me- Bill Withers. It reminds me of all the times you were there for me especially during the second year of university. Anyway, I thought I'd post the lyrics

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody
to lean on.
Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.
You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
Lean on me when you't not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna' need
somebody to lean on.
You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.
Call me ( if you need a friend)
Call me 

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Still think you're talking to me when I hear these words. I miss you, Mum xxx

I haven't told you yet about winning the 'numpty' epee at NFC, have I? Well, I did, and I hope you enjoyed it.
We've got the county championships next month - got to defend my master-at-arms, and maybe try win something too.
Every time I go fencing, I think of you, and the times you were there. You'll always be a part of what I do. Love, xxx.

On days like today the pain is too much to bear. I had such hopes for you the day you were born - it just seems so unfair that you were taken from me before I got to see them all become a reality. I miss you. I love you, my beautiful boy and I always will. Mum xxx